1. I told you I wouldn't be available until Thursday afternoon when my exam was over. Did you really think that meant for you to text me at 12:15 pm and that I was going to respond? NO, I need a damn nap! (Yes I appreciate you showing interest, but can a sista get some rest?)
2. When I don't respond to your text within two minutes, you respond with your own plans of "dinner, a movie, and whatever else may be going on." Again, I appreciate you showing interest, but damn, are you really trying to spend 10 hours together on the first date? I'm not...
3. Umm, stop beginning and ending every text message with "Hey Beautiful" and "Stay Beautiful" It was a compliment the first couple times (every girl likes to hear you think they're pretty). 20 text messages later the shat is just annoying...
4. Don't ask me for my address to pick me up. I'm from Oakland. I will meet you at dinner. Don't ask again.
6. Stop talking to me about how much you make. I don't care. I'm glad you have a job (because that is a requirement if you aren't in school; and yes I have the same requirement for myself) but I could care less what you spent on that last dinner, what car you drive, or what water your condo overlooks.
7. You completely lost me when you told me one of your biggest accomplishments was abstaining from weed. You lips and gums tell me differently. Aim higher boo...
8. I give you props for telling me about your son upfront. A lot of folks act like their kid doesn't exist. I still don't like them tho (babies yes, kids no), just ask my friends...
9. Did you really just count your money several times before paying the bill? After all that ish you talked about charging $500 meals? Seriously?
10. Thank you for walking me to my car. Get your hands off my ass and you must be trippin to think a kiss is on the way. What? Am I going home without you? YES Goodbye...
Yes I know, I know. I am completely aware that this is why I have no dates. But really, would you wanna do this more than once a year?
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